One Morning in Bangkok

The July 1981 newsletter of the Tasek Utara Golf Club in Johor Baru, Malaysia, contained the following linguistically intriguing dialog between a hotel guest and the room service at a certain Bangkok hotel. (Quoted from Far Eastern Economic Review September 4, 1981.)

Room Service: Morny, rune sore-bees.
Hotel Guest: Oh sorry, I thought I dialled room service.
RS: Rye, rune sore-bees. Morny. Jewish to odor sunteen?
HG: I’d like some bacon and eggs.
RS: Ow July then?
HG: What?
RS: Aches. Ow July then? Pry, boy, pooch … .?
HG: Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry. Scrambled please.
RS: Ow July thee baycome? Crease?
HG: Crisp will be fine.
RS: Okay. An Santos?
HG: What?
RS: Santos, July Santos?
HG: Ugh … I don’t know … I don’t think so.
RS: No? Judo one toes?
HG: Look, I really feel bad about this, but I just don’t know what judo-one-toes means. I’m sorry.
RS: Toes! Toes! Why Jew Don Juan, toes? Ow bow eenglish mopping we bother?
HG: English muffin! I’ve got it! Toast! You were saying toast! Fine. An English muffin will be fine.
RS: We bother?
HG: No. Just put the bother on the side.
RS: Wad?
HG: I’m sorry. I meant butter. Butter on the side.
RS: Copy?
HG: I feel terrible about this but …
RS: Copy. Copy, tea, mill.
HG: Coffee! Yes, coffee please. And that’s all.
RS: One Minnie. Ass rune torino-fie, strangle aches, crease baycome, tossy eenglish mopping we bother honey sigh, and copy. Rye?
HG: Whatever you say.
RS: Okay. Tenjewberrymud.
HG: You’re welcome.